MAIS POURQUOI!?

I have just celebrated my month-iversary with Paris (!) and some things still take some getting used to. The question I find myself asking all the time here, is "why?!"as I repeatedly encounter the bizarre and inexplicable. A common explanation (coming from the French, mind you) is something along the lines of, that's the French for you!

Bizarre Things: Lost in Translation

-“je suis excitée!" You'd be excited too if you were in France! Unfortunately, that's not what this means, as I quickly discovered. This enlightenment did not occur until after a couple awkward situations. Apparently, I spent my first week here exclaiming how aroused I was. Oops.

-Apparently, the French LOVE to stroll, and I love to stride. I am all for stopping to smell the roses and whatnot, but most of the time it's stopping to smell the urine on street corners or have too-close-for-comfort interactions with pigeons, and I am just not down for that. 

-I am too big for this country. I feel like a giant hippopotamus. Everything is doll-sized and delicate, and I am just up in here actin' a fool. P.S. I'm half mermaid because of how much water I drink (I am well aware it's a lot), but I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how the French aren't dehydrated, given all the cheese and wine, and the fact that water is hard to come by, and served in shot glasses. Which leads me to my next point...

-When in a resto/bar/café, expect any drink you order to be served in something resembling a shot glass. This is no joke; drink it. Take what you can get. *NOTE: if you order a shot, it will be served in a thimble. Either order 15 or accept the fact that there will be no excusing the bad decisions you make (but make them anyway).

-As a poor student, you do not order a bottle of sparkling water to try to act French. Order a carafe d’eau, the only free option on the menu. Enjoy your tepid tap H2O; an excellent quote from one of my guidebooks hit the nail on the head: “You could almost die of thirst before getting a simple glass of water in Paris, let alone a glass of ice water.”

-Lastly, just expect to see some weird stuff. When you come across it, snap a pic but try not to smile, especially on the metro. YOU DO NOT SMILE ON THE METRO OR THE STREET, KEEP IT TOGETHER.

The comforts of home

stacks on stacks on stacks

Christmas Cow, on a moto. None of this makes any sense.

Quesadilla=size of chip. My hippo hunger can't handle.

Princesse crêperie=lots of pink, lots of happiness

In case it gets too dark to read...on the métro?

This little piggy went in my tummy.

You can't make this stuff up.

French meringues=potentially the only OVERSIZED item in this country

Sparkle bread!

Oh good, more pancakes, I was worried.

My oyster friend had a ball posing his fish for me. It was awesome, and appalling.

Smoothies=kept in refrigerated case=potential for a head cold=precautionary measure

"Happy Banana"

Oysters are bizarre. My French buddy next to me described them perfectly when he said, "It's like you're drinking the sea!"

Shrooms in gummy form. NECESSARY

"No, it's not here." RUDE, you don't even know what I was looking for!

So, this is the Apple Store. Um, What. #prettierinparis

If the photos above are any indication, gay marriage (and also adoption/birth options for gay couples) is a huge issue right now, and it is all over the place. I got to see some fun stuff during a stroll through le Marais in the 4th, one of the city's well-known gay neighborhoods. (Though my "why" here would only apply to the opposition in the marriage equality debate...)

P.S. French school is HARD. Each of my classes is 3 hours long. My attention span is nearly nonexistent, in English or in French.